Mrs Malfoy, It's Our Secret
by SophiaOfSlytherin
Summary: A *four*-shot about Narcissa and Severus. Begins in November, 1981. NMxSS. Obvious AU.
1. Separation and Mourning, The Beginning

He was alone and grieving. His only love, Lily, had died just days before, and it was practically by his own hand. When he heard, though his companions celebrated, he felt his heart break. An aching longing to make amends, to correct what couldn't be corrected, to right unrightable wrongs, swept over him. He closed his eyes and slowly let his head fall to the table, hiding exaggerated weeps under the greasy black hair that fell around him. There he sat, alone, just letting the cool November air rush through the open window. It sent a shiver down his spine and back up again, and goosebumps made themselves present along his arms. He did nothing to keep warm. He felt he deserved it. The wind bit at him until he could no longer stand it and shut the window. He felt a warm, small, feminine on his shoulder. His eyes filled once more with tears as he turned around hopefully. He saw the woman he loved smiling to him. He tried to reach out, to grab her just once, but his hands went right through her. This was no ghost, just his hopeful imagination.

She was jealous and hurt. Her so-called "loving" husband had practically just abandoned her. Actually, that was a lie. It hadn't been abandonment, but it hurt none-the-less. She and him had another screaming arguement, this one cribside. Their son cried, but the sound of the baby's sobs were drowned out by her husband's thunderous voice. Tears streaked her own small face as he used words that should've remained unspoken. Such words included, "Scum," "Unworthy of a surname such as this," "Dreadful," "Dull," and "Just like that middle sister." The last one, though shallow as it was, hit the hardest. She had always tried to differ from her middle sister, to distance herself from the black sheep of the family. Of this she was not proud, but she did it. At the comparison, she sobbed senselessly, to which her husband called her weak, then turned and left. She shouted to him, "What about the baby?!" at which he spun around, walked back, grabbed the infant from his crib, then left wordlessly. Separation was a hard thing, indeed, but it grew harder when she saw him with another woman not a week later. This woman, or rather girl, was probably just graduated from Hogwarts in the past three years. The whole situation caused her blood to boil.

It was November sixth. Her fair blonde hair fell across her eyes as she was forced to listen to her sister droning. Not the one that was so dreadful to be compared to, but her eldest sister. There were three sisters, counting herself. She blinked to keep herself awake; should she fall asleep, she would miss what her sister was saying, and then would later have to listen to it all over again. Still, paying attention was hard, and her stare seemed to go more through her sister than at her.

"Cissy!" her sister hissed, "Are you listening to me?"

"Right, sorry," She mumbled incoherently, "Just tired.. I didn't sleep at all last night, Bellatrix."

"Poor Narcissa.." Bellatrix cooed softly, "Was it his fault?" She put a strong jab into the word, "his", of course referring to the absence of Narcissa's husband.

"Partly," Narcissa said quietly, "That dead silence that overtook the house since he left with Draco makes living practically unbearable.."

Meanwhile, the grieving man once again sat alone with the window open. Today, the air was again cold, but no wind blew in. Even the wind had to give up occasionally. He longed to see the woman he loved, to hold her hand, to say, though it would most likely do nothing, again how sorry he was. Sorry for all the things he had said or done, and sorry for not trying harder to make her forgive him. A knock at the door interupted his mournful remorse. He tried to wipe away the tears on his cheek, tears filled with love and regret, before opening the door.

On the other side of the doorway stood a man with light blonde hair that went nearly to his waist. This hair that was supposedly tied back slipped out around the sides and covered the majority of his blue-gray eyes. In his arms was a baby with the same hair color, eye color, and everything as he.

"Lucius?" said the man filled with sorrow, "What are you doing here? Why did you bring your son?"

"Severus, I needed to speak with you," said the blonde, Lucius.

"Yes, come in then," said Severus, the grieving man, as Lucius did so. The two had a heart-to-heart about what had happened between Lucius and his wife. Lucius told him how they had been fighting for a while, so it hadn't been unexpected, at least to him. He had taken their child, Draco, with him because he didn't think Narcissa could manage on her own. Severus listened but didn't sit still through one word. The whole situation made him feel awkward. After all, he and Lucius had never been close friends, only had they been on the same side of the war that ended on the night Severus's love had been killed. They had been on the wrong side. Severus's stomache turned. After all had been said, Lucius stood up, faced Severus, then shook his hand before making his way to the door. Once there, he stopped, turned around and spoke.

"Severus, thank you," Lucius said. Severus blinked in confusion; Lucius never said thank you to him before. He'd probably never said it in his life. "For listening and all. It helped. I do not have, er, so many close friends, so.. Thank you." Lucius, son in his arm, left without another word.

"You don't have any close friends, Lucius," Severus replied to an empty doorway, "Neither do I. We are unfortunate in that way."

The next day, Narcissa woke up in her large, empty house in the bitter darkness. She reached to her wand and light appeared from it. Carefully, she lit the candles that were all around her home. She ran her hand through her hair as she yawned but hit a large knot that sleeping had caused. Looking around for a brush or something of the sort, her hand landed on a photo. In the picture, a younger, happier girl with the same hair color as she smiled and laughed in a wedding gown fit for a queen. A handsome man with shoulder length blonde hair stood in a tuxedo beside her, one arm around her shoulder. She sighed. This was a picture from her own wedding. In the background of the photo stood another man in a suit, though his not as extravogant as the grooms. His black, greasy hair was shaggy and uncut, and it slide over his eyes with every movement he took. He seemed to just be watching the wedding, unsure why he had attended all together. This man was Severus, and, in the photo, he was visualizing the groom as himself and the bride as his love. Or so he thought. The look in his eyes said he wasn't visualizing the young bride Narcissa as anyone else. And why should he? She looked beautiful.

Narcissa placed the photo back down. It was then that the doorbell rang. It was dark sounding, like the sound one would hear in a muggle horror movie as the villian would sneak up on an innocent victim. Though she was in her bed clothes, Narcissa went to the door and opened it immediately. Her reasoning was that if anyone would come this early, it must be important, and should be answered at once. It was only 8:00 on a Saturday, after all. Standing on the other side was Severus.

"May I enter?" he asked simply, not mentioning the fact that her hair was a disaster, that here bed clothes were on, or that she looked as though she'd cried herself to sleep (before taking off her make-up, even.)

"Severus?" Narcissa said, "Er, sure.. Pardon my appearance."

"Tear lines?" Severus inquired.

"Well, yes," she confessed, "As I do not doubt you've heard, Lucius has left, plus they took Bella to Azkaban late last night."

"How dreadful," he agreed. "Lucius has indeed told me of this argument. As for Bellatrix, I am sorry." The last part was a lie, but he hid it well.

"Yes, it's horrible. Do sit down," she added.

"Narcissa," Severus began once seated, "If there is anyway I could possibly help.."

"Well," Narcissa replied after a moment of thought, "I become dreadfully lonely in this big house. Perhaps, if you visit me time-to-time?"

"How often do you want me here?" he asked, "for that is how often I shall come."

Narcissa smiled. "How about thrice a week? Saturdays is fine, but perhaps a little bit later into the day. Tuesdays would be nice at about 6:00 in the evening. And, maybe, Thursdays at the same time as Tuesdays?"

"So be it," Severus replied grandly. He looked into her eyes briefly before breaking her returning gaze. She really was pretty, he knew. She had all the right features; sparkling eyes, plump, but not too plump, lips, delicate skin, long blonde hair. Everything a woman wanted to have. And yet, for some reason, she just wasn't beautiful. Pretty, yes, very pretty, but not beautiful. A flaw which had been pointed out to her since childhood.

"I should, er, go and dress.." Narcissa laughed awkwardly.

"I will wait down here," he said, almost smiling, "Go on."

Narcissa headed up the long, winding stairs back to her bed chamber to dress. Today she slipped into a long, black dress with sleeves entirely made of a thinner lace. It would seem fancy, but actually was not nearly as formal was what she had worn the day before. Black heels seemed appropriate. After dressing, she sat in front of her vanity stand to brush out the snarl of knots that made up her hair. Once her hair was again smooth, she dug out some earrings before heading back down.

Instead of commenting on the dress, earrings, or shoes, Severus said simply, "So, what time on Saturdays?"

He came that Tuesday, and he came again on Thursday. Saturday, he returned. This was so for three weeks, at which time they decided three days wasn't enough. So he began coming on Fridays. After a few more weeks, four was still too few visits per week. And so he came on Sundays. Then Wednesdays. Once two months had passed, he was there all evening on the week days, and all day on the weekends. Narcissa craved his presence when he was absent, though few hours it was. Severus felt almost complete again with her around. He'd even stopped mourning, or at least stopped expressing it so frequently. Narcissa began to form a bad habit. This habit was constantly thinking of him and only him, so much she was practically obsessed. But there was a fine line between obsession and love. Severus, on the other hand, knew quite well what he was feeling was wrong. After all, she was married. They were fighting and separated, but they were still married, which he knew he ought to honor. But yet, all he could see when he closed his eyes was her. Her, and Lily. That was something that could never change.

On the first Sunday of the fourth month, the same gothic doorbell rang out through the huge, empty house. Narcissa smiled as she danced to the door, which she opened to find an elegantly dressed Severus. She gasped in excitement at his marvelous attire.

"Such formal clothes," Narcissa gushed, "Are we going somewhere today?"

"Yes," Severus replied, almost smiling as he did so, "I suggest dressing into a ballgown. I brought numerous ties, should you wish to match.."

"Oh, Severus!" She exclaimed happily, "Come in, please, and sit as I go change. It may take a while; I want my hair to look nice, as well."

She dashed up the stairs and swept through her closet. Each gown was wonderful, and yet each one she found had something that made it just under perfect. This one was too long, that one wasn't long enough. Finally, she found the perfect dress. It was long and sapphire. The sleeves were just covering her shoulders, and it had a black belt-like material across the stomache. The high heels she had bought with them had sparkling diamonds across the top and the straps. She sat at her vanity stand to brush out, then curl, her hair, which she proceeded to tuck up into a curly bun. She held it in with a large blue bun wrap*. She reached into her jewelry box and emmerged with a heavy handful of turquoise, some of which were long, dangling earrings, and some of which was bangels. The rest of the turquoise was a large, heavy necklace. Carefully, she climbed down the stairs back to the first floor.

"Formal enough?" Narcissa asked shyly.

"Beautiful," said Severus, "Everyone will be asking to dance with you."

"We're going dancing?!" She squeeked happily.

"Yes, we are," he replied, "Though, I must warn you, I have two left feet."

"Well, I've two right, so things should even out," said Narcissa with a grin. She tucked her arm into his affectionately, and the two walked off together. This was the evening that decided it all. 


	2. The Night of and the Morning After

Heart pounding, ears thumping, blood rising, eyes shifting, fingers fidgeting, no common sense. Narcissa knew these symptoms all too well. Who would've thought it could happen twice? She was in love. Partly with her husband, but that was old affection, her mind began to reject it. Instead, she could only focus on one man: Severus. He'd been there for her for seven months now, and instead of the cool November winds, they were now plagued only with the June sunshine. For some perverse reason, all she did anymore was either spend time with him, or think of him whilst attempting to do something important, like breathing, for instance. She'd already forgotten to breathe thrice now. In addition, he was in her dreams. Dreams which featured her in his arms. Dreams which showed the true thoughts of Narcissa Malfoy and that were of a man, but, neigh, not her husband. Dreams which told her she'd made the greatest mistake of her life in marrying a particular Lucius Malfoy. After all, if she hadn't, perhaps she could have been Narcissa Black a little longer, enjoyed her family name, then become Narcissa Snape. A pleasant smile became of her lips at the very thought of her name followed by his. But Narcissa had no time for such thoughts. After all, Severus was in her living room, and she was supposedly getting tea.

Once the tea was ready, she poured it into two mugs and carried them back in. One was handed to Severus, the other kept for herself. She sipped her tea silently, trying to avoid eye-contact with this intimidating man. As he spoke, her gaze dropped to the floor, where she knew it was safe. It was practically impossible to see his there. Severus looked at her questioningly, but said nothing. And so it was as they drank tea together. The tea was warm, but the room was cold.

"I had... better be going," said Severus as he placed his mug down onto the coffeetable. He stood up. Narcissa couldn't bring herself to look at him, to meet his eyes. She felt so ashamed of these feelings.

"All right," said Narcissa, a hand raised to her lip nervously as she looked at his shoes on his feet. She couldn't look up. "Goodbye, Severus. See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," he said, "Yes. Goodbye, Narcissa." No more words were spoken. Severus left Narcissa in her home, the home of her husband. Malfoy Mannor. She didn't like the way that day ended, and she decided she would slowly get herself to a better position with Severus. She hated herself for it, but this was her decision all the same.

When he returned the following day, he entered, walked, sat, and breathed silently. Narcissa wanted to speak, to tell him something, anything, to get a conversation going. She wondered why he said nothing to her. The truth was he was wondering the same thing and going through the same feelings.

Severus lied. He always lied. He had lied to make his way as a child. He lied among his Slytherin classmates during school years. He unintenionally lied to Lily when he said he would always be there to protect her. He lied to Narcissa every time he pretended they were no more than friends. More often than not, he lied to himself.

He lied to himself by convincing himself from day one that he and Narcissa could be no more than only friends, benefiting from each others company and guidance. Friends who learned from one another's mistakes and laughed at their own. Friends who never thought anything of each other being different genders. He lied to himself from the third month on when he realized he loved her but told himself he didn't. He lied because he'd convinced himself he would, and could, only love Lily. He lied to himself here and now when he denied himself the love of a beautiful woman who returned his affection. He lied to himself when it made things easier. He never meant to lie to himself. It just happened.

But here he sat, breathing deeply, staring at the carpet in the house of the woman he loved. A woman who was married. Severus had rotten luck with women. All the ones he ever wanted were taken, married to another man.

And there sat Narcissa, rubbing her eyes and faking a yawn. She did this so she had an excuse to be rubbing her eyes in the first place. To what Severus could tell, she was tired, when truly, she was crying, rubbing away tears. It went on like this, silent, awkward, lonely, for another three days until Narcissa had nearly lost her mind. And why not? Being in love and not saying anything could drive a sane person mad in meer days, as this affirmed. After the third day, Narcissa made another decision: this had to end. He had to know. She didn't know he made the same decision.

The next day, he apparated to the door, then knocked loudly. He didn't ring the doorbell, just knocked. Of course, Narcissa let him in. Today would be the day, she had decided. Severus decided he couldn't wait any longer.

Narcissa chose to take the direct approach. She grabbed his collar and pushed him down into her couch. Severus was shocked.

"Look, Severus," Narcissa confessed, "I've never been one to beat around the bush or be indirect, so here it goes. You've been coming here for months and months. Severus, I love you. So much."

Severus was in shock. All he could do for a moment was sit there with his mouth open, much resembling a fish out of water. When he finally regained his voice, he said, "Y-.. you do?"

"Yes, Severus, I do," she said quickly.

"I was coming today prepared to say the exact same thing, though I had planned a quite different approach," Severus admitted. "Narcissa, I love you, as well. But I know, it's wrong, as you're marri-.." He was cut off by her lips. They were pressing against his.

He hadn't come prepared for this. This mind-boggling event skewed his judgement of right and wrong. He thought this was meant to be. After all, no one had ever kissed him before, and he was in his twenties now. He was so shocked by this, this instant kiss, that all he could do was sort of sit there with her pushing her lips into his. It was all he could do to keep breathing. It was a tricky thing, this thing called, "love." Never before had he wondered more about women than when there was one in his life, and this was only the second time. Lily never returned feelings, so this was a true first. Narcissa temporarily pushed Lily clear out of her mind.

She broke this kiss (as Severus was still in shock) and spoke. "Severus, don't you get it? This, this visiting, talking about the weather, is not good enough. I need more."

"Narcissa, my dear," said Severus sadly, "You've got a husband..."

"We're separated," she reminded him, "And I've been notified he's seeing someone quite young. Why should I be so dreadfully loyal when he isn't, and it's most likely over?"

"But it's awkward," he argued, "I know him, and it feels... odd... kissing his wife.."

"Technically, I kissed you, you just sat there," Narcissa smirked, wiggling an eyebrow as the blonde hair tucked behind her ear fell out, "That'll be our excuse." Then she winked.

Severus could only sit there. What with Narcissa half on top of him, there was little else he could do. The blood rushed to his brain at once, which gave him that light-headed feeling. His jaw opened in an attempt to vocalize, but these attempts failed. His mind raced. Lucius is going to kill me.. he thought, but, against his better judgement, stretched himself up ever so slightly. It was just enough to reach Narcissa's lips again.

Everything became a blur after that. That was never a good sign. Life zoomed by at the speed of sound, and yet everything was still. A beat pounding in both of their ears, and yet all was dead silent. Severus had completely lost himself, lost his self-control. Wrapped up in each other, they moved from the couch, up the stairs, and down hallway after hallway.

The next time Severus could focus his mind, it was morning. His eyes shot wide open, and he bolted to an up-right position. Severus looked around the room, panting, thinking that this was all wrong. He scathed his arm to see if this was a dream or life. Unfortunately, this was the sad, twisted reality. Here he was. In the bedchamper of Malfoy Mannor. Shirtless. There she was. Meer feet, if not inches, from him. Asleep. Peaceful. Beautiful.

But this was all wrong! She was a married woman! True, separated from her husband for several months now, but still, shouldn't the bondage been honored? Severus pushed the covers off of himself, careful not to disturb the sleeping Narcissa. He discovered himself to be only dressed in his boxers. Stupid, foolish Severus! How could he do something as horrid as this?

And yet, how could he not? What else could he have done? Push her off and say, "No"? A mutual feeling of love was between them, so it wouldn't have been possible. He'd have broken not only her heart, but his own. It wasn't as simple as it should have been. He couldn't go through the process of having a broken heart. Not again.

Severus rose from the bed and walked nearer and nearer the door. It was closed. A tear or two trickled down his cheek, and, with a sigh, he pounded his head against the wall lightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement from the bed.

Narcissa had woken. She sat up and stretched her arms with a mighty yawn. Her hair was messy, partly from sleeping, but partly from another cause. She smiled over at Severus, a happy expression that had been absent on her pretty face for a very long time, perhaps not since the days of her and her sisters' youth.

"Good morning," Narcissa said softly, "I'm so glad you're still here. It would have been frightful to have awakened to find you absent."

"Cissa," Severus urged, "We must forget everything. What if your husband was t-.."

"To what?" she interupted, "Find out? Who cares? Severus, I do not care anything about him. I wish to have nothing more to do with the man!"

"Then why do you still dwell in his home?!" Severus demanded harshly, "If you cared nothing, nothing at all, you would have packed months ago instead of living in his home and feeding on the fruits of his family's labor!"

"S-Severus..." She didn't know what to say. After an awkward moment, she cried, "How can I prove to you that I don't give a damn about him?!"

"What isn't true cannot be proven!" he shouted. "Narcissa, you love him! If things had been switched and I had left you, you would have moved out ages ago!"

"That's not true, Severus!" Narcissa tried to make him understand. "You would never have left in the first place! Why couldn't you have spoken to me of marriage and such years ago? Perhaps taken me out in school?"

"I never gave you a thought in school because you never gave a damn about anyone!" Severus yelled, "Especially me! I did, if you recall, speak to you during school years. You ignored me, just like everyone else!"

Narcissa rose. Though only in her undergarments, she walked right up to him, face inches from his. "How do I prove I've changed?"

"That has already been proven," Severus replied coolly, "What I need proven is that you do not, and will not, ever care for your husband."

"Severus, do you see what we're wearing? Where we are? What time it is?" she asked, "Obviously, I've proven something here last night." He smirked, and Narcissa decided she would whipe the expression off of his face.

When they broke, she shooed him out of the rooms so she could dress. As he had already seen far more, this was useless, but she insisted. She slithered into a red wrap-dress, brushed out her hair, braided it, threw on a pair of red high-heels, then trekked down the stairs. While doing so, she heard two cracking sounds. When she came down, she found a dressed Severus who had apparated home and back to do so. Another smile fazed her lips as she saw him there.

_Life is grand_, she thought, _it can not possibly get any better than this_. And, indeed, things could not get any better. Narcissa had the man she loved and who loved her. Lucius was a distant memory. It couldn't get any better. But it could take a sharp turn for the worse.

And it did.


	3. It Starts to End

Just when everything was great and marvelous, as best as it can be, as fate would have it, life took a sharp turn for the worse for Narcissa. She'd been having such a great time; she was in love, not with her husband, but with Severus, who returned such strong feelings. Severus promised her he'd always be there for her, no matter what. Narcissa was in love, and a love that could only be expressed by that word as no other words even began to cover the true balanced mixture of passion and affection shared between them. And yet fate decided they were too happy. Things could not run this smoothly for long. Many signs had pointed to these events happening, signs that had been ignored for far too long.

First, when Lucius left, he left his own home, Malfoy Mannor. How Narcissa could ever assumed it meant he would never return shall never be understood. He had toiled, worked, and struggled for that house as much as any wealthy pureblood ever could. So why would he just leave it and not come back? Narcissa had replaced Lucius in her heart and mind, even joking, calling the place Snape Mannor for a laugh with Severus. But it was Lucius's home, a home that had his family name to the title, a home that could never be replaced in the eyes of the cold-hearted pureblooded man.

Next, he took the child Draco with him. What man could ever truly raise a child on his own, especially a pureblood like he who had been pampered since he was the child's size? Neigh, he would require help. But as he had left his home, he had left his help. Narcissa could not give a mother's instictive care if the child was so far away. Also, Lucius left the only other assistance he could have counted on: his house elves. The house elves would have been like Draco's nannies, his care-takers. But now he was on his own. Narcissa didn't even know where he had gone relative to the Earth, as his parents were dead, having fallen as despised Death Eaters years before. Indeed, he was alone.

Finally, Lucius had a hole in the barricade around his heart, a weak spot for his wife. True, the marriage had been flawed, but what marriage was not? After all, they were only human. Even as purebloods, they were still human, and though purebloods hated to admit it, they are not perfect. He loved her. He could never admit it, never say it out loud for anyone to hear, or even in the dark silence of night, but he loved her like he had never loved anyone before. She was his only weakness, and yet she was the magnet whose force pulled at his heart constantly. So why did he leave? One reason: he had an unrational side with an outragious temper, a side Narcissa had fallen in love with years ago.

She didn't love him anymore. She loved Severus, and Severus loved her. But Lucius had one thing Severus could never have over her: Draco. Draco would always be her son, no matter how she felt towards Lucius, his father. And though she was happy, as happy as possible, without Draco and Lucius, things got less pleasant.

Lucius came back. He strutted up the winding path to the mannor with empty arms hanging to his sides. Narcissa and Severus, not knowing of his return, sat together on the couch, lips pressed against each other's. When the knock was heard and that great old doorbell chimed, Narcissa, who was half on top of Severus, promptly fell off of the couch.

"What was that?" she asked from the floor, her head snapping up in panic and confusion. Her hair was in a bun, but much of it had become untucked. Severus shrugged, not knowing the answer to her question. She glanced in a mirror, then added as the doorbell rang once more, "You had best answer it for me; I am not presentable for company."

"All right," he said as she shuffled up the grand stairway. Severus walked over to the door, straightening his collar as he went. When he opened the door, he met an unexpected visitor. "L-.. Lucius?! What are you doing here?"

With a confused expression, Lucius replied, "Severus, I live here. This is my home, Malfoy Mannor, home of my family." He addressed something Severus was hoping he would not think of; "The real question is what you are doing here, in my home, and where my wife is."

"You're wife?" Severus asked, equally confused, "Lucius, you left her, took her child away, and showed no sign of returning. I doubt she even wears a wedding ring anymore. And I am here because Mrs. Malfoy called upon me to keep her company in your absense. She was dreadfully lonely, what with the empty house at all."

"She is still my wife, Severus," hissed Lucius, "And I would greatly appreciate it if you could step aside and grant me entrance to my own home." Severus took a step to the side as Lucius brushed in, his cape fluttering about, even knocking over a vase which shattered. Severus pointed his wand and the vase was as good as new.

"Narcissa!" Lucius called up the stairs grandly, "Narcissa, dear! I have returned!" He smirked at Severus, expecting a truly warm reception and welcome home. Perhaps he would even receive a kiss on the cheek or a warm embrace. Severus doubted these things completely. He remembered Narcissa's promises.

"Lucius!?" Narcissa shouted back, in a pitch so high it was hard to tell if she was pleased, confused, or angry. Severus assumed it was the second option, if not the third. It could be heard through the stone ceiling as she took haste in her dressing, and heels clattered across the floor above. Severus's lips curled up in a confident simper. He thought he knew what was coming.

"Yes, Narcissa!" Lucius chimed, practically floating. It was for the first time that Severus noticed Lucius really did care about her. He puzzled a moment at this happier side of Lucius. Still, Severus knew Narcissa would choose him, perhaps even kick Lucius out on the spot. He chortled to himself just thinking about how humerous it would be.

Narcissa ran to the landing, the middle of the stairs. Her grin grew as she saw it was truly Lucius, a grin that confused Severus. Narcissa ran down the stairs as fast as she could as Lucius took a few steps up. He stopped at about the third stair, and when Narcissa met him, he clasped his hands around her waist and spun her. She giggled as the twirling caused air to brush across her cheek. When he placed her down and stepped off of the stairs, she embraced him tightly and giggled.

"What are you doing here?!" Narcissa squeeled as she caught her breath. She was much happier than Severus would have expected. She hadn't even glanced at him the entire time. He felt betrayed, a hurt which he had never felt only once before, when Lily started to court her James, the slime she married.

"I've come back to you, my dear," Lucius smirked, "Did you miss me?" The confidence in his voice made Severus's blood boil. He was very tempted to tell Lucius then and there of his relationship with Narcissa just to see his heart sink and his eyes droop. Perhaps he would even cry. Severus liked this idea. He opened his mouth to speak, but Narcissa spoke instead.

"Where is Draco?" Narcissa asked. When Lucius's eyes dropped, she began to panic. "Lucius, where is our son?!" Her breath became strained, and it was obvious she was on the verge of tears. After all, it seemed her child was missing.

"I know who he is with," said Lucius, "I simply do not know his exact location." He cringed a little, a first for a man such as he, expecting a dangerous reaction from his wife. Severus, too, was worried for the child Draco. He, however, was beginning to form a plan.

"Then who bloody has our child?!" Narcissa screeched. Her sorrow had turned to rage at her husband's ignorance. Severus did everything he could to hold back a chuckle. When it finally burst out, he cleverly disgusted it as a cough. Narcissa and Lucius looked at him a moment, then went back to their conversation.

"I had no choice," Lucius began, "I thought I could care for a child on my own but, alas, I could not. I was forced to leave him with whoever I knew that would take him.." His palms were sweating like a schoolboy afraid to tell his parents of a bad grade. He ran his fingers through his long hair nervously.

"Who, Lucius?!" demanded Narcissa, "Where did you bloody leave Draco?!" Her fit of anger was so strong that she began to shake, and it was growing even stronger by the minute. Her small hands crumpled up into fists as she did her best to keep from screaming.

"Remember, I was desperate," Lucius said quickly before answering, "He's with Arthur Weasley." Regret filled his voice at the idiotic choice he had made. Severus was as shocked as Narcissa; Lucius hated Arthur Weasley. He'd hated him since the first day of their first year at Hogwarts.

"You left our child with the Weasleys?!" Narcissa sputtered, then turned to Severus. "Hand me that Profit, would you?" He did as she asked, and when she received the newspaper, she rolled it up and smacked Lucius across the back of his head. "What were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't!" he exclaimed, "I wasn't thinking at all! I just wanted him somewhere I knew he was safe!" The desperate actions of Lucius shined brightly through his eyes, showing his true regret. Never before had Lucius been this close to a breakdown, a show of real emotions. Severus felt awkward; he'd never seen this side of Lucius before, the caring side.

"I will go to their home and get him," said Narcissa, now calmer, on the same page as her husband. The focused look in her eye made it almost intimidating to be in the same room with her. Before another word, whether it was to be agreement or protest, could be spoken, Narcissa aparated to the Weasley home to retrieve her only son.

Lucius, after a moment of silence turned to Severus, then spoke. "Severus," he said, "I would like to thank you. You've kept Narcissa company in my absence for many months now, giving up your own free time. I owe you so much." Severus was shocked; was Lucius Malfoy, a self-centered, arrogant, pureblooded man acting thanking him? It seemed too good to be true until he remembered that he'd been doing much more than keeping company. Guilt swept across him quickly until he realized he didn't regret anything. As shockingly as Narcissa had reacted to Lucius's return, she would come around, right?

"It was my pleasure," Severus replied politely. It was the truth - he loved having been in her presence nearly all day, every day. He loved to be near her, to hold her close and have quiet conversations beneath the moonlight. He loved to hear her tell him that her feelings could never change. Most of all, he loved her. He found these thoughts very awkward, especially considering that he was sitting in a room with her husband. The two sat in a silent haze, each most likely thinking about Narcissa and eagerly waiting her arrival like two loyal puppies waiting the return of their master.

Meanwhile, Narcissa was at the Weasley home, the Burrow. It was an awkward situation when Arthur's wife Molly opened the door and found Mrs. Malfoy on her front step. A moment of confusion and silence was shared by the two women before Molly finally broke it.

"What on Earth are you doing here?" asked Molly. It was all she could think to ask. After all, it wasn't very often that the wife of a former death eater showed up at her door. Thunder cracked above in the sky, and a sudden burst of downpouring rain soon followed. Soaked thoroughly, Narcissa's hair was plastered to her face and back.

"May I come in?" Narcissa asked in response. Without words, Molly stepped to the side, granting Narcissa entrance to the Burrow. Molly led her to the living room and begged her to be seated. Moments after Narcissa sat on the couch, two three-year-old twins, Fred and George, bounded into the room and plopped on either side of her.

"Hey you're wet! Is it raining outside? Who are you, anyway?" chatted one in one ear as the other blathered, "Hello, I'm George. That's my brother Fred, he's annoying sometimes. What's your name? Why are you here?" Molly cleared her throat, and the boys both faced her for a moment, then spun around to sit correctly, hands folded in their laps. Molly quickly nodded once to show the boys they did as she wanted. The air was filled with silence for a moment.

"So who are you? What's your name? What's your favorite color? Mine's red," the first started again. Instantly, his twin rambled, "Don't mind Fred, he talks too fast sometimes! See, he's chatting so quick I bet you can hardly make out his words. We have four other brothers and a sister. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron, and Ginny!" Narcissa felt her mind beginning to melt from all of the chatter.

Furious with her children, Molly shouted, "Fred" -the boy on the left spun around- "and George Weasley!" -as did the other- "Surely Mrs. Malfoy is not here to discuss colors or your siblings! Go to your room and leave this woman in peace!" Her stern look added to the feeling of her supreme control of her family.

"Sorry," the twins said in unison before dashing up the winding stairway to their room. Molly shook her head with a laugh as the two ran giggling together, an expression that said, "They'll never learn." Her light chuckle was very contradictory to the discipline she was capable of demonstrating.

"So, Narcissa," said Molly with all the casualty she could manage, "What are you doing here?" Narcissa could hardly believe she was asking. What woman wouldn't come to get her own son? Molly looked concerned deeply, as if she could see no reason for a Malfoy to be sitting in her living room.

"I came to get my son, Draco," Narcissa said with the faintest hint of scorn. How could Molly ask such an obvious question and actually expect a response beyond what Narcissa had said? How was it possible that a fellow mother, even a mother of seven, could seem so oblivious to her feelings, to her desire and need to protect her child? It just didn't add up.

"Draco?" Molly asked in such a tone it seemed clear that she was truly puzzled, "Here? I surely don't know what you're talking about, Narcissa. Why would Draco be here?" Narcissa blinked once, then twice, to make sure this was really happening. It was, and it confused her.

"Lucius brought him here," said Narcissa, "We'd had a row, he took Draco and left. When he returned earlier this very day, he claimed to have left Draco with Arthur. He said he need to leave him somewhere that Draco could be safe." Molly and Narcissa stared blankly a moment, trying to figure if Lucius had lied or Arthur had somehow managed to hide Draco out of sight and hearing range and, if that was the correct assumption, if Draco was all right. Fate decided to let Narcissa have something, and so Arthur entered the room with a sleeping Draco in his arms,

"Looks like Mummy's here for you," whispered Arthur softly to the child. Draco, though asleep, smiled just a little. Arthur handed Draco to his mother who nearly cried for joy. She hadn't seen her son in months, and he seemed to have at least doubled in length. Narcissa, a proud mother, let two tears drip down her cheek; one for the miracle of holding her and Lucius's son, the other for Severus, who she truly did love more than anything in the world except perhaps Draco.

"Draco, come," sighed Narcissa happily, "We're going home, little Draco. Daddy is waiting." She turned to Arthur. "For whatever reason you chose to take care of him for us, and however you somehow managed it without Molly's knowlege, thank you. Thank you so very much, Arthur." A smile crossed her lips as she exited the Burrow, a place she would never again be in with pleasure. It seemed, for this time period, all bitterness between Malfoys and Weasleys were lost, waiting to return another day.

"Mummy and Daddy have had a row, Draco," she whispered to the sleeping infant as she walked home. Aparation with a child wasn't a great idea. "But it's going to be okay now. Mummy's going to fix this damage she's caused. Mummy and Daddy are going to be all right. We're family again, Draco. We're family. It's going to be okay." Narcissa glanced up at the starry night sky, her eyes glisening with remorse for what she had to do to keep Draco with the most normal life possible. She was going to have to break Severus's heart, and, in the process, break her own.

**A/N: I just decided to change it to a four-shot. Yep. Is that even a word? It's just a story with four chaps. I couldn't get all I wanted in the story in three. Yey, more story! Thank you.**

**PLEASE REVIEW.**


	4. All for Child

Narcissa carried the sleeping infant Draco all the way back to Malfoy Mannor. When she returned, she discovered both Lucius and Severus sitting at the glass diningroom table, anxious for her return. Silently, she slipped Draco up to his nursery, placed him softly in his crib, and instructed a house-elf to care for him while she attended to something. Back down the stairs she glided, her long skirt flaring as she walked.

"Lucius, dear," she smiled as she entered the kitchen, "you look simply exhausted from whatever it is you were doing before returning to me. Perhaps you should go bathe and slumber."

"Yes, wife," Lucius smirked, "What a grand idea!" He pecked his wife on the cheek swiftly before heading up the extensive staircase. Narcissa's fingers stuck to where Lucius had kissed her, unmoving and seemingly glued. Severus glared, not pleased. Both watched Lucius's finger disappear up the stairs before speaking.

"Woman, you liar!" Severus accused. "You claimed to love me, Narcissa! Have you forgotton?! Was I just an affair while your 'real' lover was absent?!" His words cut like daggers, his eyes blazing like fire.

"Severus, no!" Narcissa offered. "I do love you! I have for God knows how long, and I always will!" Severus turned his head in the other direction, and Narcissa grasped his arm desperately. "But this isn't about us. It's about Draco. He needs his father and mother together."

"If you love me so much as you claim, then let me be his father!" Severus shot, snapping his neck back around to her and grabbing her shoulder forcefully. "I love you, Narcissa! Do you hear me?! You've told me you love me, as well. Let me raise Draco. He'll be like my own, Narcissa, I swear it! I would be a much better father!"

Tears were rising to Narcissa's eyes, tears she had anticipated but thought she could handle. She could not. "Severus, it isn't that simple. Draco needs his real father. And even if I could, how would I leave Lucius? Destroying a relationship with a wealthy pureblood man for a soon-to-be school professor? I would be a disgrace to my family."

"Forget your family!" Severus snapped, "They cause nothing but damage to you! Bellatrix is a compulsive Azkaban-prisoner who cares only for the Dark Lord and none for her husband! Your parents scream at you if you do wrong in their eyes and ignore when you do well! Though you know I don't support her actions, at least Andromeda had the good sense to get out!"

Narcissa took a step back. "Forget my family? Severus, I am nothing without my family! I am very close to my parents! I want Draco to have that bond with his, and that happens to be Lucius and myself. Look at me." Severus did so without hesitation. "I am a child's mother first, a lover of anyone second. I have to do right by the child, and put my own feelings, stronger for one than the other as it is, aside for his sake. Do you understand?"

"I understand perfectly," Severus snarled. "So this is the end? Are you sure there is no way? Perhaps a secret meeting some place, any place, sometime, anytime. Narcissa, I beg of you!" His eyes wanted to glaze with tears, but Severus would not let himself break down in front of the woman he loved. He had never cried in front of Lily. He would never cry in front of Narcissa.

"Severus, no," she said firmly, but she would not make eye-contact with him anymore; it hurt her too much. "You're suggesting that I step out on Lucius. That would never do." Frustrated by the situation, she paced anxiously, slapping her hand over her forehead. "My God, Severus, why did we ever do this?! It was all a-a mistake!"

"A mistake?!" it was Severus's turn to step back. "How can you say that, Cissa? Haven't you loved being with me? Haven't I given you the company, the love, everything you've needed? And where's Lucius been? Running around doing God only knows what! This was no mistake."

"That is not what I meant," Narcissa whispered. Her real mistake, she thought, was hurting herself and Severus this way, but she reminded herself that it was all for her child, all for Draco, so it was going to be worth it. "As far as Lucius will ever know, we have been good friends during his absence, and that is all."

"Of course," said Severus bitterly, "Mrs. Malfoy. And, Mrs. Malfoy, if you don't mind, I'll be leaving now." It was plain and simple to hear the hurt in his voice, a wound that was first caused by Lily, but it had since scabbed over. Narcissa had just sliced that wound back open, and in his heart, Severus was bleeding profusely.

"S-Severus, wait!" Narcissa called. She grabbed his sleeve just before he reached the door and would not let go until he heard her out. He sent her an expectant look, waiting for her to speak again. It was a moment before she physically could. "You'll still visit me, right?"

"I suppose not, Mrs. Malfoy," Severus answered coldly. It seemed his defense mechanism to act as though he was not hurt at all. "Good day, Mrs. Malfoy." Without a further word, Severus stepped outside the Malfoy Mannor, a moment later he was gone.

Narcissa stood gazing out the door, wide-eyed and broken hearted. "You love him, Mrs. Malfoy. You love him more than you have ever or will ever love Lucius," she whispered to herself. "But, Mrs. Malfoy, it's our secret." Silent, hot tears trickled down her cheek, ruining her make-up and staining her face with their trails. But, quickly, she grabbed her wand and cleaned her face off, for if her husband was to come down, she could not let him see her like this.

*****

"Severus, thank you," Narcissa said. It had been years, about a decade and a half, since their last embrace; their last real touch; their last kiss. Draco was grown now, and Lucius had been in Azkaban. Also, the Dark Lord had risen again two years before.

"I did what I promised," Severus offered. He didn't look her in the eye, but how could he? And he had, in fact, done what he promised. He had made an unbreakable vow to help Draco accomplish his murder-mission, and even, if he had to, complete it himself. All he had done was keep his word. If he hadn't, it would have cost his life.

"Thank you," Narcissa repeated. The years had done much to her, but she still had the same beautiful face and delicate blonde hair. She had only developed a few worry-lines from watching Draco manage to find his way into trouble. She looked around Severus's living room; it was just the two of them there, and Narcissa owed him her son's life.

"If I say you're welcome, will you stop thanking me?" Severus scowled. His expression became less intense when her blue eyes met his black. At that time, it lightened softly, and Narcissa smiled and nodded. "Good."

"Severus, I-.." Narcissa began, but her words stopped as Severus tried to talk over her in an event commonly known as interupting. Her hands were shaking, and tears whelled up in her eyes against her will.

"Narcissa, you've seen how I can protect Draco," Severus said. "Don't you see that I could be a better father than Lucius? Do you realize it now?" His questions pierced her heart and took away her breath.

"Of course I do, Severus," She managed breathlessly, "but Draco loves his father. I regret nothing." The sincerity in her voice made his heart ache violently inside his chest.

"It is just as well," Severus sighed. "It's too late now, anyway, for surely I'll be killed soon." His eyes drooped to the floor, but Narcissa's gazed at him, nervous and worried.

"What do you mean, Severus?" she asked, but he could give no reply. Her tears escaped her control and a few fell down her delicate cheeks. "Well, then, Severus, if you're so sure you'll be dead..." Against her better judgement, she leaned into him and kissed him passionately on the lips. Without hestitation, the kiss was returned. "Goodbye, Severus." She rose from her seat and headed to the door.

"N-Narcissa, wait!" he called after her. He grabbed her arm strongly yet careful not to hurt her. She spun around and looked at him expectantly. With tears in his eye and a single one running its race down his cheek, he almost smiled. "I love you."

Pleasantly surprised, Narcissa smiled back to him, though she had an equal if not greater amount of tears. "I love you, too, Severus," she said. In a whisper, she added, "I always have." Severus let go of her arm, and Narcissa left for the last time. She never saw him again in the year to follow, and as the year ran up, Severus was dead.

Connected by love but parted by life was the way Narcissa and Severus lived. By no means was living easy for either of them without the other, but deep down, they knew it was better for everyone else that way. They were martyrs, suffering so that others may live the lives they were intitled to, because who were they to change that? At Severus's funeral, Narcissa sobbed even harder simply because she knew it was coming. She ran up to the front of the crowd and would not let anyone else near the casket. With one firm pull, she ripped her long, elegant sleeve off of her dress and placed it with him. She thought he would like that. Up above somewhere, he did, and he awaited her arrival some many years later, for even then, they were still in love. 


End file.
